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Bend this “Ung”!: The Last Airbender Review

The Last Airbender, M. Night Shyamalan

This movie should win an award! Seriously! The Razzie award for the worst movie/ film adaptation of the year! M. Night Shyamalan has come far far far from the success of Unbreakable, and The Sixth Sense.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the critically acclaimed animated nickelodeon series of “Avatar: the Last Airbender“. I watched episode 1 of the first Book (season), to the last of the 3rd and final book. Each season contained 20 or so episodes of 20 minutes each. Doing the math, that’s approximately 1200 minutes or 20 hours worth of view time. It didn’t end there of course. This series really grew on meand I simply loved the story and it’s characters. I watched the entire 3 seasons again in the complete DVD with commentary (that’s when funny little comments or pop ups appear during an episode, mostly of jokes, trivia and side comments.)! I think I’ve made it now clear that I’m a fan and that I entered the cinema with very optimistic expectations, despite the single digit ratings (8% on rottentomatoes.com), horrid reviews, and negative comments circulating around the interwebs.

Apparently, this movie was based solely on the first season, or “Book 1: Water”, hinting that, if we don’t somehow incarcerate Shymalan, he’d probably make (and destroy) “Book 2: Earth”, and “Book 3: Fire” as well. Soooowhat do you get when you cram almost 7 hours worth of episodes for Book 1 of the series into a 1 and half hour movie? You get this

...Cow Dung

A huge pile of

It felt like the entire movie was moving in fast forward, stopping only at character introductions, shallow dialogues, CGI opportunities, slow-motion takes, and a very cheesy and rather sudden romance between 2 characters. Simply put, this movie was more like a live action Preview of the series then a standalone film! You think watching a bad movie is torture? Try watching one with your beloved characters in them, and see everything they stood for, burn to the groundand then some.

I entered Cineplex 5, nostalgic. I came out furiously nauseated.

First to catch my mind were the deviation of the right pronunciation of character names. Kitara’s “kehtara” became “katara” (minor yes, but look at the others), Sokka’s “sock-a” became “Soaka”, Iroh’s “Ayrow” became “Eero”, and the main protagonist, Aang’s “aang (long a) became a very unflattering “ung”as in “dung”hmmcome to think of it, it’s quite appropriate.

So where do I start? The shallow dialogue? The even shallower and incomprehensible storyline? Oh wait, there was no story-“line”. It was more like “story-dots”, where the audience is given the task of connecting them to make their own line. What about the plot? It’s like a broken down road filled with holes and gapshence the “story-dots”. The CGI was so-so, acceptable. That’s all I can say about that.

However, the character development was definitely the worst of them all. There is minimal, if any, development or attachment to the characters, even for me. You’ll most likely walk out of the cinema and forget who the characters were…except of course for Aang, because he’ll come to mind every time you’re reminded of “Dung.”

The movie fails so badly in properly introducing its characterswho they arewhy they do what they do, and why they are doing what they are doingthe audience are alienatedthey are presented with this strangers on screen. And because we can’t comprehend their personalities, we are left detached, making it hard to connect or relate to their story. You most probably won’t remember powerful Aang, caring Katara, brave Sokka, confused Zuko, wise Iroh, adorable Appa andthe “girl who floated and died”yupeven I’ve forgotten. Yes, instead you’ll remember “baldy with arrow tattoos that glow”, “girl in blue who can make water move”, “guy from twilight”, “slumdog millionaire”, “uncle of slumdog millionaire”, “big fluffy elephant thing that can fly”, and “the guy from twilight’s love interest who gave her life to a fish, floated in the water and died”, respectively. Sadvery sadbut true.

How would I rate this movie? On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li; 2 being Dragonball Evolution; 6 being Superman Returns; and 10 being Up, Toy Story3, Titanic, the Dark Knight, Godfather 2, Citizen Kane, Memento, Scarfaceyou get the ideaThe Last Airbender would be a ZERO (0)Disaster movie would be -1

If you’re new to the Avatar: Last airbender(animated) seriesdon’t bother. You’ll come out confused (“What the heck did I just watch??), and regretful of the PHP170 (that you could have used to watch Inception), or worse, PHP200+ for the very messy 3D (because the film wasn’t shot with 3D camerasso was digitally rendered into 3D)

If you’re just familiar with the seriesit would be better to watch the series rather than getting the wrong ideas about the story and its wonderful characters. And if you’re a fanboy/fangirl don’t make my mistake and get all hopeful or even get curious about this moviebecause it really is a “Insert-degrading-profanity-here”.

LookI even found the right(more appropriate) poster:

"The Last, From M. Night Shyamalan

About Me, General Blah Blah

Why Ellipses?

Well, besides my undying habit of puttinguhmdot dot doton all things a write, type and vandalize, Wikipedia says it all:

Ellipsis (plural ellipses; or “three little points of suspension”; from the Greek: ἔλλειψις, élleipsis, “omission”) is a mark or series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word in the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought, or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence. When placed at the end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech.

see? (i’ve edited this post and put into bold letters all relevant words 😉 )

P.S. Had lots of blog ideas this week, but due to some very unfavorable circumstances, i had to put off writing

gonna be posting soon

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34 Degrees

Dear Ellipses,

I mean, talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed! I had slept a good 1am last nightpatting myself on the back as 1:00am is earlier than most nightsand pretty much had good REM time to boot. It would have been a great morning if it wasn’t for the acute fatigue, splitting headache, trembling joints, and vomit-inducing vertigobesides that I was totally fine.

My first guess was the fluso I used a thermometer just to be sureafter being unfortunately lodged into my armpits, I hear it scream out in discomfort “beep beep beep beep” Despite the condition I was in, I still had the strength to chuckle when I read the display: “34.2 C°”. I rubbed my eyes and squinted just to be surein clear bold letters (it was a digital thermometerthough I’m sure you already knew that after the beep beep beep beep), “thirty-four-point-two-degrees Celsius”. Swearing myself to be different from the undead, and remembering the usual errors that digital thermometers make, I tried it on my already worried motherbeep beep beep beep36.8 C°completely normal. I tried it again on myself. If it could talk, it would have yelled: “Not your armpits AGAIN!” It must have been pretty mad since it gave me a similar reading as the first: “34.4 C°”. Was it cool this morning or was it just me?

Hypothermia, a potentially fatal condition, occurs when body temperature falls below 95°F (35°C).

Accidental hypothermia” unintentional reduction of the core body temperature to levels below 35C°, as in a cold environment. Apparently, normal hypothermia is somehow deliberate -_-.  So there I was, cold-blooded so to speak. I tried my best to sleep it off. After a few hours, and to my relief, my body temp. went up to a good 36.2C° (37C° is the normal body temp. just so you know), still a little low but better than 34. And my Temp right now? 36.5 C°. Thankfully, I’m getting hotter.

It’s funny how 3-4 degrees can be the difference between living and turning into a Popsicle. And what was the culprit? Apparently, all i could deduce was that the A/C’s flaps (i don’t know what they’re called) were directly pointed at my cranium (a new meaning to brain freeze).

So I had Hypothermia this morning, how was yours?