"Those" moments..., Thoughts

Barely Beating.

Seafront evening

My seas have calmed. The winds, abated. The tempest’s fire has smoldered low, leaving only a memory. She was a maelstrom. A squall I was unprepared to face let alone handle. I see her in the distance now. The space between us I must strive to keep. Is it over or will she turn into a perfect storm once more?

I survived her. I’ve overcome. At least i’d want to think to myself. I know I’m safe at anchor. I’ve secured my mooring.

I can’t, however, sink the feeling that I’m drifting, slowly, away from the jetty of security. I can feel it when I close my eyes, when the world waxes taciturn. I close them now…and it’s there. Seemingly gentle ripples gradually pulling me away. The water rocking my craft into the unknown. I’m being drawn off the docks in the opposite direction of the storm. Into calm, indifferent and vacant waters.

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“When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so very special
But I ‘m a creep
I ‘m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so very special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here

She’s running out again
She’s running out
She run, run, run run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so very special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here.”

This song has been looping on my playlist for a while now. As soon as I get my guitar re-stringed it’ll be the first song i’ll practice. It’s just…perfect.

Isn’t it something. When a song speaks what your heart is speaking. When you hear the words that your mouth has always wanted to say but never could.

"Those" moments..., Just sayin...

“When does one become greater than a thousand? When that one… is all that matters.”

A thousand No’s will be insignificant to that one Yes. Unfortunately, a thousand Yes’s will be as a whisper to the wind against the one resounding and crushing No.

All the treasure in the world will be for naught if the one you’re longing for is not among them.

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"Those" moments..., Thoughts

Some things are finite.

I’ve heard once or twice of an artifact in this world that would grow and multiply the more you gave it away. It was suppose to mean something good i’m told, but sometimes it just reads (and feels) like the definition of a virus – a disease, a weakness.

People who believe in the former keep giving, and giving, and giving. Most, however intensely they’d deny it, need and expect something back. It is, to them, an investment of sorts. A bank they’d deposit periodically into, hoping one day for a big return. On the other hand, a noble few would selflessly give without the expectations of a return. They give for the sake of giving. They give for the effect it has on themselves and their fortunate receivers. Deep down they may Continue reading

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