Despite my seemingly successful attempts to explain this, what this is; whatever this has become; Or why it is and what it’s for; i still don’t know, really.
Looking at my earlier ventures into writing – what seems like little more than digital chicken scratching – this cobwebbed side of the interwebs (heh) has turned into a hodge podge of bitterness, misery, dejection, frustration, and the other cousins of depression, with the occasional and obligatory existential musings, dry wit, and sometimes…lesser times…sometimes… gleams of actual insight – some of which, I can honestly say, have brought me pride.
Is that it though?
The Sesquipedalian has always been a home of sorts for me. It was never a summer home where people could and would cavort with the warmth in life only rainbows and butterflies and sunny days can bring. It is also not where you’d hide from the biting cold when the rivers would sleep and when sunshine would hide behind the gray veil; a home abandoned during the deepest of winters. It’s the in-between. When the warmth of summer has but left and the creeping cold betrays life.
When the valleys meet the peaks, that’s when you would find me here.
This place is more than it seems and I’ve yet to know how far it reaches into the void inside.
It has been winter for a while now and yet, I’ve come here. I’m here. I’m still here. Maybe I should stay for a while. Maybe, this time, I should face the frigid world. I should gaze into the abyss, and when the abyss gazes back, i’ll make it wish it hadn’t.
This is a good as home as any. Yes, i threw away the keys. Locks however, can be broken. Locks can be replaced, gates opened, walls scaled.
Hurdles were not meant to stop you. They’re meant to test your resolve and desire to overcome them.