"Those" moments..., Thoughts

Barely Beating.

Seafront evening

My seas have calmed. The winds, abated. The tempest’s fire has smoldered low, leaving only a memory. She was a maelstrom. A squall I was unprepared to face let alone handle. I see her in the distance now. The space between us I must strive to keep. Is it over or will she turn into a perfect storm once more?

I survived her. I’ve overcome. At least i’d want to think to myself. I know I’m safe at anchor. I’ve secured my mooring.

I can’t, however, sink the feeling that I’m drifting, slowly, away from the jetty of security. I can feel it when I close my eyes, when the world waxes taciturn. I close them now…and it’s there. Seemingly gentle ripples gradually pulling me away. The water rocking my craft into the unknown. I’m being drawn off the docks in the opposite direction of the storm. Into calm, indifferent and vacant waters.

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"Those" moments..., Author's Picks


Part 1 of 2

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.

It haunts me down to this day. It may haunt me forever. An obdurate shadow at the back of my mind. A castaway shackled in a closed-off room in my heart.

I remember coaxing her once lustrous hair, now a dry and damaged mop, to one side so I could kiss her warm forehead. It used to be warmer. I tell her to be strong.

“I’ll be back in a few hours.”

There’s no answer. There are no sounds other than the faint beeps of a heart monitor and her tired and troubled breathing. I pause to take her in. Vacant washed-out globes had replaced the eyes that once had been full of life, love, and wanderlust. Shallow breaths from her chapped lips. Yellow and pale taking over the vibrant pink in her skin. Her hands twitching from unknowable pain. For a second it courses through me as well. Strings are pulled inside me. I wince. I reach for her hand and envelop it with both of mine. She must have used all the strength she had left when she lightly held on to my hands. It takes all of my own strength to keep from crying.

A voice inside says I can’t leave. Continue reading


Hello my old heart
How have you been?
Are you still there inside my chest?
I’ve been so worried, you’ve been so still
Barely beating at all

Oh, don’t leave me here alone
Don’t tell me that we’ve grown for having loved a little while
Oh, I don’t wanna be alone
I wanna find a home and I wanna share it with you

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