So I happened to walk into a mall bathroom today due to a sudden urge of nature, probably because of all the coffee I had. I decided to take a stall because all the urinals were, well…occupied. As i was about to finish my business, I heard a rather soft and affectionate voice of a guy in the other stall. Praying that he wasn’t talkin to me, i decided to listen in, because i’m just nosy like that. This guy was very…very affectionately pouring his heart out to, i’m hoping, a person of the opposite sex. Through flowery words he described how he longed for his significant other and how much he cares and loves her. I was moved (not), I mean, it takes a real man to open up his feelings in a public toilet. Where else would any guy do it but while he’s on his great white throne?
And to make matters worse, this guy probably had bad clams or something…it was like an excre-orchestra in this guy’s stall that a pack of imodium couldn’t fix. It was probably good background music for the sweet nothings he was conveying for his significant other…(facepalm)
After a few minutes of eavesdropping (dropping…ha!), I had to give in to the cries of my olfactory (and auditory) senses to get out of the public toilet.
note to the guy in the mall bathroom stall:
There is a time and place for everything. Now is not the time to tell your significant other how you long for her and that you love her. wait until your outside.The sound of your bowel movements & constant toilet flush will ruin the sincerity of the moment…
…unless of course, this is an inside thing between both of you and that she’s also in the toilet returning your sounds of affection.
…location, location, location…