"Those" moments..., Author's Picks


Part 1 of 2

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.

It haunts me down to this day. It may haunt me forever. An obdurate shadow at the back of my mind. A castaway shackled in a closed-off room in my heart.

I remember coaxing her once lustrous hair, now a dry and damaged mop, to one side so I could kiss her warm forehead. It used to be warmer. I tell her to be strong.

“I’ll be back in a few hours.”

There’s no answer. There are no sounds other than the faint beeps of a heart monitor and her tired and troubled breathing. I pause to take her in. Vacant washed-out globes had replaced the eyes that once had been full of life, love, and wanderlust. Shallow breaths from her chapped lips. Yellow and pale taking over the vibrant pink in her skin. Her hands twitching from unknowable pain. For a second it courses through me as well. Strings are pulled inside me. I wince. I reach for her hand and envelop it with both of mine. She must have used all the strength she had left when she lightly held on to my hands. It takes all of my own strength to keep from crying.

A voice inside says I can’t leave. Continue reading

"Those" moments..., Author's Picks, Thoughts

Gone under.

There’s something serene about swimming. I’ve always loved getting soaked in any (preferably clean) body of water, as far back as I can remember. I was swimming long before I could walk. There’s something quite ethereal about it. Maybe because it’s the closest we’ll ever get to flying, flowing through the water as if it were air. Maybe because in the water, everything is cleaner, shinier, lighter. It provides tranquility even for the most idiosyncratic.

I love going swimming at night. There are less people; better ambiance. All the more when you’re sharing an olympic-sized pool with only three little kids, which was the case tonight. The serenity of the dimly-lit water and quiet surroundings take you someplace else. An escape. A temporary portal away from this harsh vociferous and noisome world filled with miasma, providing few things devoid of  ennnui. Taking a deep breath, I go under, eyes closed. Suddenly Continue reading